Prime Minister blows them all up

Frankfurt/M. (OK) Armin sees all red. Now the Prime Minister of the West German State of North Rhine Westfalia presented his new Corona strategy called Bridge Lockdown over troubled water, but nobody knows what it is all about.

Helpless journalists have surrendered unconditionally. Laschet’s consultants wonder, what he has been vaccinated with. Red Astra Lager from Hamburg, Bromelain or Modern. Nobody knows anything, nobody understands, but Obstkurve (Fruit Terrace).

The editors office plays the long ball to none. A result of the hard Walk in Football academy or the Ruhrgebiet. After 20 calls and 15 Phonecalls Laschet agreed to an background interview. He selected a bridge as background.

Here is a bridge over the River Main at Frankfurt that Laschet wants to blow up.

Question: Mr. Prime Minister, first of all Bordello Experiments and then Spahndemics. What are you planning next?

Laschet: „I have to think about it. What we need now is the Bridgelockdown. This is what we have learned with the Bordello experiments, clearly. The efficiency results have gone up rather than going down.“

Question: What are you doing now?

Laschet: „Only Thinking. We blow up all the bridges in our State of North Rhine Westfalia. That is what a dead politician called Suppenkasper wanted, but he failed. First until May 7 and then until April 18. Motto: „Our Slogan: Nobody will get through here, not even Angela Merkel.“ All bridges of the Rhine, the Ruhr, the Wester, the Main and the River Thames will be blown to bits. If there are any remains, they will be shut down, locked up, so that nobody will be able to enter our lovely state, but at the same time nobody will be able to get out. This is gonna be our victory.“

How does it work?

Laschet: We send police students from Muenter, police kids from Wuppertal, the local Fire Brigades but also others to all brigdes over the world as barring cordon. If somebody pays a fee of 50 Euros he is allowed to swim. He gets a CDU mask for reward. We have bought tons of TNT with 10 per cent for me and Jens.

Operation Blow up starts at five to twelve

When does it start?

Laschet: At 11.55 am.

Mr. President, thank you so much.

Laschet: I beg your pardon.

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