Soft Defence Technology: The German Warburger.
Warburg (OK) Well. There is no helicopter flying and no aeroplane starting. Six officers are stuck in Bulgaria since 2013. The old soldier food in the so called “Epa-Packets“ was rotten. It was abandoned last week.
But help is on its way. The deutsche Bundeswehr now feeds its Stormtroopers in the Eastern Ukraine with the brandnew German wonder food: The Warburger. And its too hot really. This healthy food was developed by the Military History Division of the Bundeswehr. The burger is especially designed for the hungry soldier. With cute toy soldiers as deco.
According to Defense Ministress Uschi von der Leyen – an old peer she is really – this high tech food of German Wehrmacht scientific research is being produced in the Westfalian town of Warburg. Only because the name fits, says Chanceless Angela Mörkel.
First tests in the killing fields of Bosnia, Somalia and Afghanistan were very positive, says Uschi. Only the Taliban do not believe that these German Warburgers contain beef. They doubt it. And that is why they have left the latest peace talks at Kundus immediately after the Germans invited them to have a Warburger with them. “We are not wanting to be in touch with beef”, they said. Germany is proud of its new soft defence technology.
There is only one snag: As soldiers have to walk all the way to Eastern Ukraine because all their tanks and lorrys are out of order, German headquarters expect problems with the supplies. That’s why the Warburgers are supposed to be flown to the Eastern Front with the new flight drone “Loona”. “The advantage of this flying saucer”, says Uschi, “is that it can fly at night, even when it is dark, because it has a light.” In case of an emergency she is planning to bring back the Light Cavalry.
